Divine Feminine

First story published

My first short story “The Heart” has been published in this wonderful anthology of horror writing. Fox Emm is a determined and talented editor and a clear passion for this genre. I suspect this anthology may be the first of many.

It can be found on Amazon using the link below.

Many thanks to Fox for increasing my confidence as a writer. By including my story it spurred me on with my current Novel “The Malevolence” which I hope to publish next year. I shall be updating my blog more regularly in the new year and including excerpts





How did we meet?

After reading an inspiring post, (a distraction) from my own obsessive scribbling, I paused, and found myself thinking about the time I met my partner of 23 years. It moved surprisingly quickly, from just an account, into something much more. In fact what I was about to write became quite life changing for me. I was like a woman possessed. I needed the right words. I wanted to get it right because this wasn’t fiction. I examined the evening in such fine detail and went through a whole gamete of emotions. Getting in touch with your younger self can be immensely cathartic. It isn’t finished there is so much more to write but last night I shared my writing with my lover and we filled in all the blanks. So thank you blog land, for inspiring me to write. It appears though older now, were not dead below the waist….. I would like to share the intro with you if I may….

People have asked many times, how we met and was it love at first sight? I exchange a glance, with my partner and we smile, a tickle stirs in my stomach. Time has not denied the vivid, headiness of that memory. The feelings, now tempered with wisdom, can be brought easily back to the surface. Though there’s no mistaking that look, which captured me, is still in her eyes. It Ignited a Sapphic spark to flame and still burns brightly now.

Inquirers are always so impressed at how we seem together and share the joy of our relationship, as though vetting us for some imagined trophy, in the lesbian hall of fame.

We give them our stock responses and tell them it was love, there are no words to convey the truth of what we shared that night. So if you’d really like to know, how it was we met, read on my friend, I may teach you something yet.

If poetry belongs to lovers I was illiterate before this night. I found a whole new world that I could read and write. I’d spent many years alone or going through the motions. I’d had several encounters but no giving of myself… and so I floated happily, sharing unconnected love. Until the night that my love walked in my life.

A smoke-filled busy pub, three days after Christmas, was the scene. I sat consoling a friend about her relationship that was never going to be.

A clearing in the crowd opened up a perfect view of you entering the pub and announcing your arrival in my life.


Something powerful was happening to my body, drawn to your shape demanding your details. Transfixed and hypnotised I watched you. I hadn’t seen your face but something special was waiting.

You turned and as if knowing my eyes were on you and feeling the same thing. Our eyes connected and that my dear was that. The calmest hurricane ever known rattled through my veins. A hidden tsunami of emotions tumbled around inside. I’d seen that look in your eye before, but not this face, and not in this lifetime.

I turned to my friend and blurted out that I would end up living with the woman who had just walked through the door. My friend laughed in disbelief, thinking me dead below the neck.

But I knew better, I saw images, of future homes. Where you would be coming through other doors.

I couldn’t blink, I needed to ingest every detail of your perfect beauty. Though no words had been spoken we knew. We both knew in that moment that there was no going back. A door had been opened and there was now a connected energy between us made of solid gold. We mirrored each other’s movements and smiled when each other smiled. We’d never met but I already knew you so well. We could hold the gaze of intimacy reserved for special lovers.

A mutual acquaintance brought our company together, and now we knew our names. I was giddy on your aura as it wrapped around my own. The closer I got the faster my heart beat. We were alone inside this room. All else was shut out as I examined you in-depth. I could feel your skin before I touched your hand.

We neither should have been there that night, it was a quirk of fate. Predestined long ago and events had made it so. A minor accident had prevented my journey that day and an impassioned plea from a friend had guided you there but now we knew the reason. Everything would work out fine.

We played a game of tag as I ran from pub to pub, knowing that you’d follow and end up in my bed.

My home was not my own however, it was filled with other nurses, and on this night an impromptu party happened.

We’d lost contact as I’d played my game of hide and seek, I wondered if I’d got it wrong, but then in my doorway there you stood, a smile came over me.

You had competition that night, not from one but two and it ended up a waiting game as each gave up on me.

You asked me where the toilet was, my cue to take you there. A private moment we could share. As the door we locked behind.

Our images reflected in the mirror on the wall added to the feeling that there were more than us in the room. Love and fate joined hand in hand and added to our union


The moonlight dripped through eerie clouds. I watched the frozen rain skid across the ground. Despite my thudding heartbeat, I could hear the drops dancing on the concrete outside my shelter. I was safe for now. I could smell no more danger. I shivered vainly, knowing the darkness and cold would never be my friends.

The knife had been stopped by the thick chain around my neck but the wetness remained. My head and shoulder pulsated with pain. The urine soaked brickwork of the underpass stank of a hundred creatures, merging with rotting food and decaying rats in a cesspit of foulness. The rats knew not to bother me, I would kill them if they did.

Being thrown from the bridge didn’t just break my body. My spirit and soul anguished from a life of unloved cruelty. The kicking’s, starvation and torment were all too much and I crawled slowly backwards into the shadows of my cardboard box. The icy wind encouraged me to step from one reality into another. In another world I could hear the footsteps and the voices, very distant at first.

‘Down there!’ a voice shouted excitedly as I slipped further away.

“I can reach him.” All my senses were aware of this man. Through the squalid darkness a huge hand came towards me. I had no fight, I would submit. It roughly grabbed me by my neck and pulled at my chain. He’d got what he wanted!

“This dog’s got a funny name!” He shouted to his friend.”He’s called Nosferatu!”

The smell of kindness filled my body and brought me back to life.

The End