Nosferatu

The moonlight dripped through eerie clouds. I watched the frozen rain skid across the ground. Despite my thudding heartbeat, I could hear the drops dancing on the concrete outside my shelter. I was safe for now. I could smell no more danger. I shivered vainly, knowing the darkness and cold would never be my friends.

The knife had been stopped by the thick chain around my neck but the wetness remained. My head and shoulder pulsated with pain. The urine soaked brickwork of the underpass stank of a hundred creatures, merging with rotting food and decaying rats in a cesspit of foulness. The rats knew not to bother me, I would kill them if they did.

Being thrown from the bridge didn’t just break my body. My spirit and soul anguished from a life of unloved cruelty. The kicking’s, starvation and torment were all too much and I crawled slowly backwards into the shadows of my cardboard box. The icy wind encouraged me to step from one reality into another. In another world I could hear the footsteps and the voices, very distant at first.

‘Down there!’ a voice shouted excitedly as I slipped further away.

“I can reach him.” All my senses were aware of this man. Through the squalid darkness a huge hand came towards me. I had no fight, I would submit. It roughly grabbed me by my neck and pulled at my chain. He’d got what he wanted!

“This dog’s got a funny name!” He shouted to his friend.”He’s called Nosferatu!”

The smell of kindness filled my body and brought me back to life.

The End

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5 comments

  1. A review :- I think that the description of the environment was excellent. The atmosphere created was uncomfortable so you empathise with the main character. I like the way that a second reading is totally different from the first, clever. I think the only thing that stood out as a slightly odd word amongst it was ‘fiddled’ not sure why I felt like that about the word – maybe as all the other words in the description added to the story and were purposeful in their use creating the poor animal’s desperate situation. I enjoyed reading it, even though I cried….. Changed the word fiddle as a result.

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  2. A review :- Least successful: I had problems with a couple of the terms used: “esoteric clouds”, “the snowman’s breath”. You lost me there. Also I noticed a change from the past to the present tense which I suspect was unintentional. Most successful: The ending is absolutely fantastic not only from the point of view of the story but also that last sentence “The smell of kindness filled my body and brought me back to life.” That’s one of those ‘killer’ sentences that we all dream of writing. Thanks Sharon. ……. Originally a large piece snowman’s breath was left redundant so removed. Valid points about tense. I like esoteric clouds so they’re staying. What a kind review x

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